My ruthless teenage brain is in italized my mindless teenage heart is in bold Don't smile at me. Dont speak a word out of your oh so wanted lips. Don't make me laugh, i don't want to be attracted anymore. I'll just leave my feelings here on the floor. Dont glance at me with your adorable face. My heart won't melt again. I want it to so badly though. I want you to talk to me please talk to me oh why would you, how could you talk to me. I balled last night, my eyes are sore, i dont want this anymore, i don't want it, i crave it, i need you, you need to get you of my life. You see the outsides of people. Thats all you care about. And i don't care anymore. I wish you would care about me. You don't notice that im right here in front of you but i can wait. I'll wait forever I've waited to long. I need to get over you. Some silly silly stupid crush thats impossible and would never happen But why wouldn't it happen. The chances are fair. Your one of my best friends. Your understanding, and when i need to say something i bet you wouldn't change topic like my other friends. But why would i open up to you. When i open up to my girlfriends, its about you. Its always about you You don't understand how much you are in my life I love you in my life, It makes it so much better. Your the air my heart needs to breathe. And your my puzzle. I can't figure you out, and i dont want to beacuse when i do the funs over. And it looks like i did. And the picture at the end wasn't what i wanted it to be. Your like any boy. You only care about outer beauty and features.You are to blind to see that i am here. In front of you. Your heart should be yelling at your eyes for not noticing me. Im perfect for you. We love everything in commen, We are so compatable. Maybe Im being to harsh. But i an still upset I want to apoligize. I feel odd for not apoligizing. You should know that i need you in my life. We havn't hung out as often lately. Maybe lets grab a coffee and talk. I shouldn't need to apologize. You betrayed my heart. You had it in your palm. and you made a fist. You didn't know that it was even there. But theres no way that you couln't feel it. You knew it was there. But you didn't really know. I have to love you. My ruthless teenage mind has no choice. and my mindless teenage heart has okay taste. You don't know what you did wrong. Maybe i should reconsider you. But i can't So my mind and heart begin to go on the same side. But you really didn't know that i was there did you. You just didn't feel it yet. You like her. And i knew it. I saw the signs but i didn't want to belive it. But you and her are like brother and sister. and it won't work out. Ill wait for you love. I'll take my turn We had nothing. There was nothing for you to betray but it feels like you did. I want to be mad at you, I want to kiss you at the same time. I want you to make me depressed, i even try so i can finally let go of my feelings that have been eating me alive for a year now.I want to be sad around you. But no matter how hard i try, i always smile, i can't help it, when you look at me, talk to me, smile at me, walk pass me, make me laugh. Everything i told you not to. Don't do it again. But never stop. Babe, don't forget to look in front of you
----------Almost a year after writing this, alisha is back to tell you that my mind won. and my mind was right.
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